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Saturday July 5, 2008

(A new column covering every topic under the sun!)

#1. WHEN RUMOURS GET OUT OF HAND

Poor Tony Singh of Fruiticana! The highly successful businessman who is also well known for participating in community and mainstream events had to deal with the vicious rumour mill that South Asians are such experts at.

The rumour was that a woman buying okra at a Fruiticana store in the Lower Mainland – different versions mentioned different stores - got bitten by a snake and died.

The unfounded rumour started two weeks ago and kept spreading steadily – after all, we south Asians are such a tightly knit group! By last weekend, it got out of control with Fruiticana stores and the media being flooded with calls. Finally, Tony had to go on Radio Red FM to rebut the nonsense himself.

“There’s no body. There’s no ambulance report. There’s no hospital report. There’s no police report,” a highly amused Tony Singh of Fruiticana told me on Wednesday. “When someone slips and falls in my store, the family comes running to me, saying ‘well, what are you going to do about it?’ And when someone dies, it should make news at least.”

So how did this all start?

Tony said: “This morning I was talking to someone in California and I mentioned this rumour, and he said they had a similar rumour in California. So someone picked it up from there and brought it right here to Vancouver.”

Tony explained to me that the way the okra is hand selected and packed – “it’s hydrocooled in ice water and then fumigated” – would instantly kill any insect or any animal that got in there.

So guys, you can put your hand into that okra lot at Fruiticana – and by the way, okra is my favourite vegetable.

#2. KEVIN FALCON: INSENSITIVE IDIOT

What a moron Transportation Minister Kevin Falcon is! And worse. He's truly the most insensitive and uncompassionate politician in B.C. and deserves to be kicked out of both the cabinet and the House.

Falcon flayed the Vancouver Police for closing down Second Narrows Bridge linking Vancouver and the North Shore on Canada Day for six hours as they tried to talk to a distraught woman who was attempting to commit suicide. Falcon himself was stuck in the gridlock that day.

Yet the police said that it was necessary to do that because a person's life was at stake and the noise from the traffic would have made it difficult for the negotiators to talk to the soft-spoken woman, who was finally rescued.

I guess Falcon has a misplaced sense of his importance as a minister and he resented being stuck in traffic - after all he is the transportation minister. Well let me tell this arrogant twit that he's not fit to be even an MLA let alone a minister.

Isn't the life of a citizen more important than his frigging convenience?

And doesn't he know that his own boss, Premier Gordon Campbell's father committed suicide. Shouldn't he have been more sensitive to the plight of a distressed woman attempting suicide?

And for crying out loud, Mr. Falcon, don't give us all that hogwash about what the San Francisco guys do at the Golden Bridge. That's a six-lane bridge with sidewalks. And in any case, we are not Americans.

I am glad the Province newspaper carried all those letter pointing out the sheer stupidity and appalling insensitivity of this immature man.

He should take a dip in Fraser River and give his thick skull a good shake.

#3. BAN USE OF CELLPHONES WHILE DRIVING

As a pedestrian, I have been fortunate enough to escape being run over several times at intersections both in Surrey and Vancouver by drivers who were glued to their cellphones while making a left turn or a right turn. I have also witnessed other pedestrians having similar close shaves.

So I cannot help but wonder why the idiots in the government who are in a position to ban the use of cellphones while driving are not waking up to this danger in British Columbia.

I remember back in the 1990s when Ujjal Dosanjh was attorney general under then premier Glen Clark, I asked him if he would ban the use of cellphones while driving and he came up with his usual diplomatic answer that he would look into it, but then nothing happened. Dosanjh has always been very good at pleasing the media with the right statements – but when it comes to action, it’s a whole different story with him and other politicians in B.C.

However, politicians in Quebec have more spine than our politicians – and they are obviously more concerned about the welfare of their people than our politicians – for from this month police there can ticket motorists caught using their cellphones. Nova Scotia and Newfoundland also have a similar ban.

In Quebec, even drivers just holding a cellphone can be ticketed. So they cannot try and weasel out of it by claiming they were merely holding it and not using it. The fine is $115 and will cost the offender three demerit points.

#4. DASMESH GURDWARA: JAYWALKING ENDANGERING LIVES

It is appalling to see senior Sikhs get off the southbound bus number 213 at the stop near the BC Hydro building just before the pedestrian crossing at 94 Avenue on 128 Street and then coolly cross the road as they head to Dasmesh Gurdwara. Vehicles have to halt to let them pass.

But what if a vehicle is unable to stop in time? This is just a tragedy waiting to happen and the gurdwara authorities must educate the seniors about the dangers of jaywalking. Indeed, not only are they endangering their own lives, they are also jeopardizing the lives of motorists and passengers.

All that these seniors have to do is to get off at the next stop at 94 Avenue and use the crosswalk there. I understand that this makes for a slightly longer walk. But it is far better than landing up in hospital dead or with severe injuries, or causing harm to others.

#5. ORDER OF CANADA, ABORTION, IMMORALITY & HYPOCRISY

Utter hypocrisy and disgusting self-righteousness marks the virulent attacks on the Order of Canada being awarded to Dr. Henry Morgentaler, famous or notorious (depending on how you view his role) for carrying out abortions. He began carrying out illegal abortions in 1969 and faced a long battle with the state until the Supreme Court of Canada in 1988 acquitted him of any misdeed, noting that abortion laws infringed upon a woman’s right to security of person under Section 7 of the Charter of Rights.

Let me make one thing very clear here: as a conservative Christian, I am opposed to abortions. However, each individual has a right to make their own choice and in the ultimate analysis, only God can judge them. Also, no one has the right to impose their religious beliefs on others; you can only preach and debate.

But what really makes me livid is the hypocrisy of the churches on this issue. There was Roman Catholic Archbishop of Toronto, Thomas Collins’ statement that “Canada’s highest honour has been debased.”

What a joke!

Collins should be on his knees apologizing for the homosexual abuse of innocent kids by the priests of his church for decades, nay, centuries, and the manner in which the Vatican tried to protect these perverts. It was only in recent years that the mainstream media picked up enough guts to expose these scandals. But even then, most of these scandals have been hushed up.

Wait a minute! Maybe, this is Collins’ strategy to deflect from the gay priests scandals plaguing his church.

And by the way, according to Maclean’s magazine, we are a nation living in sin: 18.4 per cent of our couples are “cohabiters” – and in Catholic-majority Quebec, a whopping 35 per cent of couples cohabit rather than marry.

Me thinks, the Catholic Church has a lot of answer for – and for God’s sake, as Jesus, said, remove that rafter from your eye before you can remove the straw from your brother’s eye!

#6. ZOOS: NATURE & HARD REALITY

Two weeks ago, I watched this fascinating raptors’ show at Seattle zoo. The falcons were amazingly close to their trainers and the spectators were mighty impressed. I spent about six hours going around the zoo – and I would highly recommend it to my readers. The natural surroundings in which the animals are kept as well as the variety makes a visit worthwhile.

Then a week ago, it kind of shook me up when I read the story about the raptors’ show that went horribly wrong at Vancouver zoo in Aldergrove (which I have yet to visit). A golden eagle in the show happened to fly into the lions’ enclosure and was killed by a lioness.

My first reaction was envisioning one of the falcons at Seattle zoo ending up as a meal for a lion and the horror of it all. You see, you get to actually like - no, love – those birds. You watch the close bond between the birds and their trainers – they are truly a family. Fortunately, there was no lions’ enclosure where the raptors’ show took place there.

Back to Vancouver zoo, there have been all types of opinions voiced in letters and the usual blogs. But let’s get real, such things do take place in nature. Just watch all those documentaries on animal life on TV. And accidents do happen in zoos. That doesn’t mean you shut down the place. Zoos are great places for us to learn about and appreciate nature. Not everyone can afford to go around the world and watch animals in their natural habitats. However, improvements at zoos must be an ongoing process.

So, let the show go on!

#7. POLICE PRESENCE = PEACE

I was most relieved to learn that Canada Day passed off peacefully downtown, where I live and hang out most of the time. When you live downtown, you just hate the crowds that stream in from all over the Lower Mainland and beyond even on weekends – let alone on days such as Canada Day and the fireworks’ four nights in summer – because you expect and dread unruly and uncouth behaviour.

Yet highly visible police presence has a magical effect – at least, most of the time – on those who have tendency for misbehaving, especially after getting tipsy or plastered.

And this is what the Vancouver Police has thankfully been doing. First, they aggressively went after the troublemakers, especially the gangsters, in the entertainment district and brought down the number of violent incidents. Then, on Canada Day, they brought in additional cops as a warning to anyone who might try and act foolishly.

I still remember witnessing the infamous Robson Street riots when the Canucks lost the Stanley Cup finals back in 1994. I just couldn’t believe that Canadians could indulge in such behaviour.

And I have no sympathy for those who behave like losers and might get roughed up good and proper by angry cops.

#8. WRONG INFORMATION LEADS TO RED FACES

Police and intelligence forces as well as the military and customs – and even the media -rely on snitches to get vital information. But sometimes information from snitches can lead to highly embarrassing situations.

Take the case of Prince Rupert RCMP officers who were red-faced last week when instead of finding marijuana, they came across 400 tomato plants. That is because commercial fisherman Bruce Aleksich, thanks to a bad spring, decided to grow his plants under lights. Apparently, someone who saw the bright lights and the green plants took it for granted that he was growing the unofficial symbol of B.C. – marijuana.

The cops should have done a better job of intelligence gathering. Indeed, many people have had their houses raided and been subjected to the indignity of being forced to the ground and cuffed and even roughed up when they objected to such treatment just because the cops got wrong information.

That reminds me of what happened to me two weeks ago at the Canada customs when I was returning from Seattle on a Greyhound bus. It was around 11 p.m. and there were about 20 passengers on the bus. We were greeted by five to seven custom officers, all highly alert with a drug-sniffing Labrador dog. The officer with the dog kept taking him up and down the line-up and looked terribly disappointed that the cute animal (my family in India has kept black Labradors for decades and they are such adorable creatures) couldn’t sniff out anything.

Then, it seemed, in sheer desperation they took some passengers into the inner area for a thorough luggage check – but they didn’t find any drugs. At that late hour, all you want is to get back home as soon as possible – not be delayed and insulted by overly suspicious customs officers.

Yet, the poor customs guys were only doing their job and trying to protect all Canadians from the horrors of the drug trade. Quite obviously, their tip-off was wrong. Or the drug smuggler himself got a tip-off and decided not to board the bus.

#9. INTERNET & VIAGRA TURNING ON OLDER PEOPLE - & WATERMELONS!

There was this most interesting item about sexually transmitted infections having more than doubled in less than a decade in Britons more than 45 years old.

And Internet dating and pills such as Viagra (also known as the blue pill) for men were said to partly blamed for this trend.

Of course, the vast majority of the patients at the 19 sexual-health clinics the government looked at were young, what stood out was the over 100 per cent increase between 1996 and 2003 in the number of people over 45. Men in the 55-59 age range and women in the 45-54 age bracket were more likely to have a sexually transmitted disease than anyone else. The increase in STD among the over-45s was 127 per cent. On the other hand, the number of STDs among younger people rose 97 per cent.

The government report noted: “There is also growing evidence that the Internet is being used to identify casual sexual partners by all age groups.”

And, of course, drugs to counter erectile dysfunction have altered the quality of life and sexual experience of older people.

You just have to look at the ads that keep appearing on TV in North America to realize that these drug companies must be raking it in.

The situation is likely to get worse as the population ages.

So the warning here is to both old and young: watch what you do because, as the saying goes, you reap what you sow.

And now to make things even more dramatic, comes a report this week that watermelons can have the same effect as Viagra!

The fruit contains an ingredient called citrulline that can trigger production of a compound that helps relax the body's blood vessels. That is what happens when a man takes Viagra, according to scientists in Texas, one of the top producers of the seedless variety in the U.S.

Bhimu Patil, a researcher and director of Texas A&M's Fruit and Vegetable Improvement Center, says: “Watermelon may not be as organ-specific as Viagra, but it's a great way to relax blood vessels without any drug side effects."

And yet another study says that the more sexually active older men are, the less likely they are likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction. In other words, use it or lose it!

#10. TRUDEAU, MULTICULTURALISM AND RACISTS

A few months ago I encountered a “friend” – an old, frail, white retired guy – who started spewing out his racist venom against immigrants (non-white guys, of course) who he said were screwing up the country with all types of crime and insisted that Canada didn’t need immigration and so on. And he ended up cursing former prime minister Pierre Trudeau for bringing in multiculturalism.

His entire tirade was punctuated with the f-word. I warned him that I could outdo him with swearing and raising my voice but I would not stoop so low and walked away, telling him quite bluntly that he was looking at things in too simple terms. In the past years, we had many discussions on a slew of topics but it never led to such a rancorous situation. But racist articles and distortion of facts against visible minorities in the white-controlled mainstream media such as the Vancouver Sun have obviously had their deleterious effect on this gentleman.

I suddenly remembered this incident on Monday when I came across a new poll by Ipsos Reid that revealed that among the top 10 things Canadians say best defines the country was Pierre Trudeau at number 8! I wondered if my friend read that – and if he did, I could envision his face turning red and his blood pressure hitting the stratosphere!

What the heck, the father of multiculturalism ranks so high among Canadians?

Well, the top 10 things that define Canada are the Maple Leaf, hockey, the Canadian flag, the beaver, Canadarm, Canada Day, peacekeeping, Pierre Trudeau, universal health care and Niagara Falls. These were followed by the Rocky Mountains and Wayne Gretzky. The RCMP came 16th. Multiculturalism itself came 24th.

Here’s the advice I have been giving my fellow Canadians, white and non-white, who still can’t stomach multiculturalism:

Wake up and smell the curry and the sushi and the kimchi and the pasta and whatever!

As I have said before, we (all of us from different countries and ethnic backgrounds) are here to stay and flourish – so get used to us, or you can always move somewhere else, eh! We surely won’t miss ya.

#11. YOUTUBE

Hey guys, just check this link out. It’s one of the best ones I have come across on Youtube:

Enjoy – and if you have any to share email it to me (editor@voiceonline.com) so I can share it with the readers.

– Rattan Mall

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